A while ago
I read a book called The Bookseller of Kabul. It was for a book club and I
naively assumed from the title that it would be an uplifting account of a man
struggling to keep the written word alive under one of the most repressive
regimes. It was not uplifting, quite the opposite and it was not really even
about a man, but about the women in his life who were forced to orbit him like a sun and obey
his every whim and wish. Like in The Bookseller of Kabul, the girls and women
in this book have absolutely no freedom, but they have found a way to cheat the
system, at least for a few years.
I don’t read
as much non-fiction as I feel I should, but reading books like this is
important because so often I forget just how lucky I am to live where I do and
have the freedom I have. Although I don’t think we have quite achieved full
gender equality yet, it is nothing compared to what the girls and women in parts
of the world like Afghanistan are forced to go through. This is such a
segregated society that to gain any sense of freedom they literally have to
pretend to be men. Gender determines everything in this world and if you are
not male then your options in life are few. Once a woman becomes of marrying
age her function seems to be that of creating sons and being the household slave, and not much else.
“One kind of
child arrives with the promise of ownership and a world waiting outside. The
other is born with a single asset, which must be strictly curtailed and
controlled: the ability to one day give birth to sons of her own. She, like her
mother before her, has arrived in what the United Nations calls the worst place
in the world to be born, And the most dangerous place in which to be a woman.”
Women in
Afghanistan are not allowed to go outside without a chaperon. If there are no
sons in the family, this makes it very difficult for the women of the family to
do basic things such as shop at the market for food. Some families that consist
of all daughters have found a way around this. The youngest child becomes a
boy. The colloquialism is bacha posh,
which literally translates as “dressed like a boy” in Dari. This boyhood is not
chosen voluntarily by the girls, but many enjoy it. Those who come from middle-class
backgrounds can do much with their freedom, such as thrive at school and play
games outside. There are many though, who come from poor families and are
forced into child labour, as many of the actual boys in the same position are. These
bacha posh are still sources of pride
for their family and many of the girls are resistant to becoming women once
puberty hits and it becomes harder to hide their true gender. Nordberg relates
heart breaking instances of girls forced into marriage whose upbringing as bacha posh has left them confused as to
who they really are. There are also instances of those who refuse to go back,
determined to stay male for as long as possible.
This is a really eye-opening book, for many
reasons. It throws up some interesting
questions about gender and what we perceive to be gender-specific behaviours.
Most people agree that men and
women are different. Gender becomes controversial when we discuss how we become
different, either through nature or nurture. Those who take the nurture line
tend to believe that each gender is biologically suited for different things at
birth. Historically that sort of thinking has been used to prevent women from
having certain rights due to a perceived lack in ability. If you can believe it
there was once a time when doctors in Europe believed that a woman’s uterus was
directly linked to her brain. Thankfully we have become more enlightened and
there is little scientific validation today for discrimination based on gender.
This book gives proof that what makes a person is actually a combination of
nature and nurture. It also reveals that what we think of as ‘natural’ (e.g.
innate) is not the same as what might feel natural. Acts and behaviours feel
natural after many years as the brain will physically develop in a certain
direction. Therefore, in time nurture becomes nature.
Jenny
Norberg’s writing is clear and engaging and some of the women she talks about
are truly amazing. She has given us further proof that the struggle for women,
especially in parts of the world like Afghanistan is far from over, but that
some of them are starting to fight back.
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